5 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Graduated
12 July 2010
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Sharalyn Hartwell is the national Generation Y columnist for the Examiner. She also shares her insights on love, relationships and the strange workings of the female mind as a staff writer for the men’s online magazine, The Rugged, and a contributor to Ask Men and Modern Man. You can follow her on Twitter at @sharalynhartwel
It’s hard for me to believe I have been out of college for seven years now and high school for 12. I’m rapidly approaching the end of my twenties, a fact that is somewhat painful to admit in one sense, but kind of exciting in another. This milestone birthday has got me thinking. A lot.
I’m a reflector. I spend a lot of time pondering my life, my decisions and the subsequent outcomes. It’s through this conscious reflection and thought that I’ve learned my most valuable lessons, including these five.
- It’s okay to change your mind. The summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college I got a job as an office manager at the local weekly newspaper. It didn’t take long for me to get completely immersed in the newspaper world. Soon I was writing for the paper and reveling in the reminder of how much I’ve always liked that. I started to contemplate changing my major. I debated this in my head for months. I didn’t want to be “that” sophomore–the one who changed her major. I finally got over myself and just did it. I chalk that up as one of the best decisions of my life. It set me on a completely different course, for which I’m grateful.
- Some of your greatest accomplishments are not things you set out to do. When I moved away from my college town, it wasn’t long before I was being counseled by several important adults in my life that I should buy my own place instead of wasting my money every month on rent. I always thought they had a point, but had no desire to do that. I thought it was depressing to sign my life away by myself. I only thought it was exciting to buy a home if it was with a husband, with my own family. Then one day I realized I was ready and I wanted to get my own place. That was over three years ago. Now I am more than a wee bit proud of the lovely townhouse I was able to build at a young age and transform into a home.
- You really never know the tremendous good that can come
from one decision. And, that’s exciting. I’m a planner. I always thoroughly think about all aspects of a decision before arriving at a final conclusion. I even contemplate (okay, okay–fantasize) the good things that might happen as a result. I am NEVER right. But, actually, I’m so glad I’m not. The good things always seem to be so much better than I imagined (and I have a really good imagination). For example, when I started writing for the Examiner, I never would have guessed the professional opportunities that would come, nor the very special people I would meet as a result. The decision literally changed my life in the best possible way, one I NEVER would have imagined. - Some of the things you think you really want, you don’t. Who hasn’t wanted something desperately–say a specific job opportunity or a relationship to work out–only to learn later it wasn’t really all it was cracked up to be? While I do believe we can and absolutely should learn from whatever experiences life gives us, I do think there are times we just need to cut our losses and move on. Maybe we never got what we wanted; maybe that is a good thing. I remember a particular relationship in my mid-twenties I was practically desperate to work out. When it didn’t, I was devastated. It took a few years, but I was finally able to see what a bullet I inadvertently dodged and how much better my life is as a result.
- Resume-builders are just that. Resume-builders. In high school, I did everything I could so I would look good on paper for college and scholarship applications. In college, I was the most concerned about what I could do to add more bullets to my resume and advance my career after graduation (I was already working in my industry during college). One day I literally woke up and realized while all these things were inherently good and helped shape me into the confident person I am today, they weren’t everything. The people I know, the relationships I had were so much more important. Even still, I find myself falling into this pattern, something that I call the resume-builder trap, and I have to pull back, reevaluate and reprioritize to determine what really is most important in life.
I realize none of these things are particularly earth-shattering. Most of you probably already have them figured out, but I’m still learning these lessons. Even if I had known them when I graduated (whether from high school or college), I would still need reminders now, as my thirtieth birthday is looming dangerously near.
The beauty isn’t in these actual lessons per se, it’s the journey I’ve taken to learn them . Thankfully, that journey isn’t over just because my twenties nearly are.
It’s just beginning…
Now I must ask…what have you learned about yourself in your life and career journey?
What lessons can you share?
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